Thursday, March 10, 2011

Wattson Shares Some Secrets



 Hello Fellow Cats,

My name is Wattson and I'm posting today instead of my current staffer, Sheryl.  I'm feeling magnanimous so am sharing the most effective way to get what you want without a "cat fight".  (Degrading term but will go with it for now).
First, firmly make your request...but just once.  If you continue, it will appear that you are begging, which cats do NOT do.
Sit quietly nearby and stare unblinkingly at your staff person.  Maintain an expectant (but not hopeful) air.  Looking hopeful is too much like begging, which cats do NOT do.
Continue waiting Patiently but Persistently until your staff person either does your bidding or callously walks away.
Should the latter occur, proudly walk away in the opposite direction as though you are indifferent about your staff person's response.  If your person sits down and begins to look at the Big Box That Makes Lots of Noise, quietly position yourself within peripheral vision range and begin the "Fixed Stare Alternated With Indifferent Looking Away" procedure.
When your staff person comes out of his/her trance induced by the Big Box and rises to walk away, quickly pilot him/her back to the object of your desire, again making your request, but just once.
Sometimes these staff people are dense or obstinate and you may need to repeat this process several times a day, but Patience and Persistence usually pay off in the end.  Remember though: even if it doesn't, never, ever lower yourself to their level.  Dignity is everything.
I'm sure you've found this helpful.  Perhaps I'll dole out some more tips and tricks at a later time. 
Meow,
Wattson

1 comment:

  1. Wattson has the humans figured out doesnt' she?

    ReplyDelete

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